Let’s get real for a second. If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your body or your libido has taken a nosedive (thanks, stress, hormones, or even medication), you’re not alone. But here’s a sexy little secret: one of the most powerful ways to reignite that lost spark in your sex life might just start with you.

Wink wink, hint hint: I’m talking about solo play—masturbation. And you might think that masturbation is all about getting yourself off, but it’s not (though, let’s be honest, it’s one big, sloppy perk). Masturbation connects you further to your own pleasure and allows you to explore every inch of what turns you on, laying down the foundation for mind-blowing intimacy with your partner. When you truly understand how to make yourself quiver, you open the door to hotter, more intense, and way more satisfying experiences together.

So, let’s take a more intimate peek into why solo play is your secret weapon for reclaiming your libido and strengthening that connection in the bedroom.

Rediscover What Turns You On

When you’re constantly focused on outside factors—work, kids, anxiety, or even feeling disconnected from your partner—it’s easy to forget what actually feels good for you. Solo play gives you the chance to slow down, turn off the world, and focus on what your body is craving. Without the pressure to please someone else, you get the space to rediscover your desires.

Explore different sensations, experiment with what gets you excited, and take the time to figure out what really gets your engine revving. Solo play allows you to find those pleasure points you may have forgotten about or never even discovered. And once you’ve reignited that fire for yourself, it’s much easier to bring that passion into your shared experiences with your partner.

Boost Your Confidence and Libido

Feeling disconnected from your libido often starts with feeling disconnected from your body. Masturbation is a powerful way to rebuild that connection, giving you the confidence to explore your sexuality without judgment. When you know what turns you on and what feels good, you naturally start to feel more in tune with your desires—and more confident in your ability to share them with a partner.

Plus, the act of pleasuring yourself releases those feel-good hormones—dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin—that naturally boost your mood and libido. It’s like a natural reset button for your sexual energy. The more you engage in self-pleasure, the more likely you’ll find yourself wanting to share that energy with your partner.

Practice Communicating Your Desires

Solo play also gives you valuable insight into how to better communicate your needs and desires with your partner. Knowing what feels good for you is the first step to guiding your partner toward what brings you the most pleasure. When you’ve spent time exploring your body on your own, you can confidently express what you want and need during partnered play. You’re in control during solo play, which means you’re also in control of the sensations, the pace, and the pressure. That knowledge is essential when it comes to navigating intimacy with your partner.

Deepen Your Intimacy with Your Partner

Here’s where the magic really happens: once you’ve reconnected with yourself, you’ll find it easier to reconnect with your partner. Masturbation gets you to connect with what makes you feel alive. And when you bring that awareness into your shared experiences, you open the door to deeper intimacy.

You can even incorporate solo play into your partnered sex life. Mutual masturbation—where you and your partner watch or play alongside each other—is an intimate, erotic way to share what you’ve learned about your body. Watching each other’s pleasure can be incredibly empowering, and it can spark new conversations about what you both enjoy.

Ready to Reclaim Your Libido?

When you feel more in tune with your own body, your energy naturally translates into your relationship. The confidence, the communication, and the deeper connection with your own pleasure will all help to reignite the passion between you and your partner.

Solo play helps you prioritize your own pleasure, which in turn, helps you show up more fully in your relationship. And let’s be real—when you’re feeling more connected to yourself, you’re bound to bring that fire into your intimate moments together.

So, go ahead—touch yourself, reclaim your pleasure, and watch how it transforms your relationship.

Ready to restart the spark but don’t know where to start? I got you. Get all the naughty secrets to get your juices flowing in my Reclaim Your Libido course.